midlife wisdom

"Improvisational theater is about taking one step at a time without knowing what the end of the story is going to be. These practices of improvisation have fully helped me live and embrace this very, very messy middle of life."

“Sitting with Adrian during the filming felt like part art, part storytelling and part therapy. He has a masterful way of inviting you into the process with enough presence to help you feel safe and open and enough quiet to allow you to take the journey wherever it may lead you. The beautiful dance of leading and following shared. I believe that getting our stories out in this way is a gift for all involved - those who tell and those who listen.” - Barb Tint, PhD, psychologist, instructor and alum, Modern Elder Academy

 

"I'm looking forward to so much. I"m turning sixty next month and I can't wait! I'm so excited. It's going to be the best year ever.!" A fascinating story of change and self-reinvention from Modern Elder Academy alum Betsy Benoit.

”Having the spotlight (literally) shine upon my unfolding and evolving life was an amazing experience. Adrian let me know in advance some of the questions he would be asking, which gave me confidence in the process and helped me manage expectations. He was so easy to talk with. Seeing the final product was a thrill and frankly a bit awe-inspiring. I am super-appreciative for the opportunity to see myself and a bit of my life preserved – a digital legacy I am grateful to have and share with others.” - Betsy Benoit, alum, Modern Elder Academy

 

“I deeply appreciated the opportunity to tell my story on camera. I’ve never done something like this before. My media interviews, presentations and speaking engagements have always been transactional in nature, focusing on my skill and knowledge that underlies my service to clients and my professional industry. I let my sister watch it. She said, "I had no idea that was going on inside of you". Adrian brought me to the surface. It did make me tear up as I had empathy for this fellow in front of me who was recounting his journey….” - John Rizzardi, MEA alum.

 

“As I entered the space that Adrian had prepared for filming I immediately felt the nervous butterflies relax. Adrian had created such a warm and inviting place for filming. His presence felt calm and open. As he asked me to talk about my midlife transitions the words started to form and come forth in a flow that both surprised and pleased me to share.

The value of the film experience is one that came as an unexpected gift. I got to reflect, form, review, and share some profound life experiences and have them recorded in a medium that I can view and share with loved ones - now and in the future. A gift that can be unwrapped over and over again.” - Toni Jaffe, MEA alum.

 

“Adrian’s presence and process was a welcoming space in which it felt safe for my Soul to show up. This midlife (and beyond) passage has been a very long and hard one for me, during which I have felt stripped down, stuck, and like a failure. It has not been a “hero’s journey” of overcoming obstacles and accomplishing a societally-recognized wonderful new outer life. Instead, it’s been immense, deep inner soul growth. Hearing myself say and know that “I wouldn’t trade who I am now for anything” was a surprise, a deep truth, a pearl of great price and peace for my mind and heart. The filming was a homecoming—coming home to my Soul—and catalyzed my stepping into a “larger identity” - Elaine Cornick, Cultural Butterfly Project, author of ‘Hiding In Plain Sight: Evidence of Our Life-Aligned, Regenerative Culture Emerging.’

 

“I think I opened my own transitional door by being willing to tell my story. As I loosened up a bit and started to savor the opportunity of speaking freely and confidently, it became clear that I was really embracing my midlife experience. That made me happy...and truly excited for the unfolding of this very abundant time in my life. Gratitude and praise to Adrian for creating a safe space to speak from the heart.” - Sheila Tallmon, alum, Modern Elder Academy

 

“Carl Jung once said, "The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you really are." But I never expected that becoming who I am would require so much work to let go of who I’m not. In the midst of this uncomfortable letting go, I met Adrian and took a chance that he might catch something worthwhile on film. With his camera and his calm curiosity, Adrian gifted me the ability to bear witness to my own winding journey of becoming. Just as I strive in midlife to truly see others, Adrian’s uncut footage – including the portions shared here – allowed me to truly see myself. It’s clear through this work that Adrian is answering the summons of his own soul, for the benefit of so many others.” - Denny Meadows, alum, Modern Elder Academy

 

“If something happened to my life today, would I be happy?"What does the rest of my life look like? How do I distill or refine the gold out of the time I have left?" These are just a few of the powerful questions that MEA alum James Hayden is now asking of himself.

women in leadership

“Working with Adrian on his film on Women In Leadership was such an incredible and unique experience. In the days leading up to filming, we spoke about what he was trying to accomplish with his project and I must say... his mission resonated with me deeply. On the day of filming, I quickly forgot that there was even a camera there! He was so easy to talk to and listened in a very meaningful way, leaving ample space to think and reflect. It was almost like talking with an old friend, despite the fact that we had never met in person. In the days after filming, I found that I was in a very reflective state of mind. He made me think about things in a way I hadn't really considered before. I feel so very fortunate to be included in his project. He is a gifted filmmaker that has set out on a journey of profound importance.” - Cmdr. Amber Comisso, Royal Canadian Navy

 

Vancouver entrepreneur and community leader Judy Brooks shares her hopes and aspirations for female leaders of tomorrow. “Stay true to what inspires you, don’t let yourself be boxed in by what society says is right or wrong.”

 

uncertainty & masculinity

 

On travel

“Having Adrian come into your life to make a film is more than a one time thing. It is definitely a process. You think in advance about topics you might like to explore with Adrian, and while talking on film about those topics, other things arise as well. Afterwards, you think about the things you said. And as you watch yourself later, you can’t help but notice things in your words and expressions on your face and in your eyes. I don’t think it is possible to not learn things about yourself, about your deeper truths while going through this process.”

Aaron White, PhD

 

racism

“Adrian is a gifted professional film maker. He has a unique style whereby he is able to evoke a heart-based authenticity from those he films, unveiling what needs to be told. During the world wide emotional reaction to George Floyd's death - and the anti-racism "say their name" movement, Adrian sought out those who had deeply personal experiences with racism. While it was uncharted inner soul terrain that lay hidden within, Adrian had the ability to gently draw out the stories within me. Before I knew it, he had created a masterpiece of all the poignant experiences that have further impacted and sparked others, with similar stories, to rise up with courage to share their stories about racism too. Adrian is a film "movement- maker."

- Ranjit Dhari, MSN, RN.

 

poetry - Tyler Knott Gregson

How do we want to return to the world after the pandemic? Will we go back to who and what we were? Montana poet Tyler Knott Gregson asks us to think carefully about what we really need and about our true place in the world.

 

End of life education and leadership

Willow co-founder Michelle Pante discusses the unexpected meaning, joy, and laughter that clients find when they explore the reality of their mortality and embark on holistic, heart-centred end-of-life planning.

"If you yearn to discover or return to the center of your being, if you can bear the beauty of really, truly being with the essence of who you are, film-making with Adrian will get you there with more ease, grace and power than any other modality. Adrian is the perfect guide for this journey inward; he is attentive, insightful and intuitive. Adrian's deep listening led me to explore the quiet corners of my being and to give voice to the fullness of my desires."

M. Pante, co-founder

 

Poetry -Anna Citrino

“Days spent filming in the forest with Adrian immersed us in looking deeply at the world around us in a similar way I do as a writer. Walking through the woods, we spotted specific places and trees evoking the ideas and mood of poems I’d written. As one who loves poetry himself, Adrian is able to step inside a poem’s meaning and see what images might embody it. Through his skillful editing of images to enhance the poems’ ideas, Adrian extended my poem’s words into a further dimension. The end result was a beautiful product allowing viewers and listeners to enter the words in a multisensory, new way, giving the poem a wider audience it otherwise may not have had.” A. Citrino, author

 

Poetry -Anna Citrino

“The time we took wandering through the woods filming and speaking was unrushed, allowing ample opportunity for reflections to surface about my work as a writer. Writing is a kind of pilgrimage, an exploration for meaning and an expression of the wonder of being alive. Adrian was a naturally encouraging, supportive presence through the entire filming process. His questions, as well as his belief in the value of my work as a writer helped bring forward my thoughts about who I am as a writer and what matters to me most. When the camera rolled, I felt at home. From the variety of filming we did, Adrian skillfully selected the essence of what I wanted to say while speaking from the heart about what writing is for me.” A. Citrino, author

 

A school for midlife wisdom

Chip Conley and the Modern Elder Academy

Illuminate

Author, hotelier and Modern Elder Academy founder Chip Conley on the power of listening and asking 'catalytic questions'.

Origin of the Modern Elder Academy

Chip speaks about the series of events that led to the foundation of the Modern Elder Academy.

Curiosity and Wisdom in the Modern Elder

Chip on the ‘modern elder’ as the perfect alchemy of curiosity and wisdom.

Liminality at Midlife: The Place in Between

There is a place we often find ourselves in at midlife, a place between no-longer and not-yet. This place is a critical one to be able to rest in, on the way to our new identity in the world, says Chip. "Nature teaches us this: the cocoon we find ourselves doesn't have to be a crisis, it can be a place for awakening."

 

masculinity

That Fragile Thing

International education consultant Dr. Ron Lalonde reminisces about his personal journey and the ways it has brought him to the leadership roles he has held in education.

Patience. Adrian painstakingly crafts an environment in which you will be listened to. His thoughtful questions open valleys of thought and invite you to meander, to stray, to find the light, and to find the shadows. The narrative, as revealed by Adrian, cast light and meaning on the path I have been walking; he brought me closer to myself. — Ron Lalonde, Dubai, U.A.E.

 

identity change at midlife

Who Am I Now?

A counsellor reflects on the question of identity and change in her own life, and the need to make room for not knowing what's next.

I decided to do this work with Adrian to find a voice around the challenge I was experiencing with change in my life. Adrian creates an environment both with his presence and guidance that helps you calmly go deeply into the issue you want to explore or articulate. Watching myself on the video was very moving and helped me feel for my own challenge in an empathic and caring way which left me feeling good about myself in a rich and open way. — Saskia Roland, B.C.

Love and loss

The Gift

A courageous testimonial to the ways deep love can transform us and how we might live with gratitude even after the one we love is gone. "I relish the questions, the not-knowing, the mystery.”

Mike Stolte

saying goodbye

Going Home

“When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure. When Adrian suggested I go on this journey, little did I know that I would be unpacking a life time of pent up emotions. An incredibly therapeutic experience which has the added benefit of having my recorded story forever on hand to refer back to later in life. If you're willing to open your heart, confront the emotion and talk about your experience, be it a sad one, a happy one or a traumatic one, you won't ever regret that you did! Thank you Adrian! “

Janine, Dubai, U.A.E

hospice care

Entering In To What Is Real: The World of Hospice Work

A journey into the little-known world of hospice work. Some profound teachings about the kind of healing that can take place and the forms of stillness and vulnerability that the work requires.

Legacy is at the heart of hospice work and Adrian's ability to capture the vitality of my life work has been transformative. Working with Adrian unveiled a distinct clarity of vision as I move into a new phase of life. Adrian helped me uncover what was there all along, waiting to be told, days after my own father had just been admitted to hospice. He has a beautiful way of gently rolling back the layers of time with the gift of presence. — Heather M.M., Vancouver, B.C.

 

The writer’s journey -becky livingston

An Author’s Journey: On the Writing of The Suitcase & The Jar

Author Becky Livingston describes the process of writing her memoir after her 26-month journey around the world with her daughter's ashes.

The Suitcase & The Jar: Travels With A Daughter’s Ashes

A glimpse into the kind of inner journey an author often goes on to produce a powerful piece of work.

Talking about my experience of grief, about my travels and the discoveries I made along the way has not always been easy. I needed to trust someone to hold this information, to honour my journey. Adrian did this for me. He is patient and calm. He knows what it means to fully listen, to really hear. — Becky Livingston, B.C